Fuckie Duckie’s always there for you.

You bring the lube and bad decisions—he brings the emotional support and structural integrity. Late-night pool pounding? Fuckie Duckie. Morning-after regrets in the hot tub? Fuckie Duckie. Lost your dignity somewhere near the deep end? Guess who’s still floating.....Fuckie Duckie. He’s seen more wet chaos than a cheap motel shower curtain, and he’s still here—squishy, loyal, and judging you silently with every thrust.

"I used to dream of inflatable unicorns and Instagram thirst traps. Now I’m just a cum raft..." — Fuckie Duckie, probably

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